Day 1

This is day one of grieving the death of my nearly 16 month old son. This morning, we took him to the ER, they tried to resuscitate him. They couldn’t.

It’s been about 13 hours since he died – every minute has been slow and excruciating. I would like to die too so I can be with him and be free from this pain.

But today – I don’t want to write about all that. Not right now. Before I sleep, I want to say, that I am thankful. I am thankful for my husband – who has been my best friend since we were 17. I am thankful for the beautiful four-and-a-half year old who is incredibly strong. I am devastated – disillusioned – that he has lost the little brother he adored and should have shared life with. My grief is – it’s too much.

But I am grateful. I will not die too. I won’t be a zombie for the rest of my life. I will love and I will be loved and I will forgive.

Brody, mommy loves you. I will miss you but I will live on and not let your life be in vain. Thank you for being my baby.

Day 1

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